just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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