someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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