I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gift wrapped bread.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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