apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize