I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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