at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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