you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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