i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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