God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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