I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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