She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize