I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
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I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
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Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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