so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
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This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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