how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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