It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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