Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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