There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize