I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
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Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
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The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
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