You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
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You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize