my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize