I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
and she was petting her beer can
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize