I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
false alarm. still invincible.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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