I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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