she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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