Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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