Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
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