I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize