I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
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I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
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I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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