Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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