i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
All the doctor said was why
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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