Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize