..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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