i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize