you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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