Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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