I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
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He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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