it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize