You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize