I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Randomize