we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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