Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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