shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize