Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
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