ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize