Redeem this text for a blowjob
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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