SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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