apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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