WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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