Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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