I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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